Repeat this to yourself: “Love more. Care less (what people think).” Building a life based on that foundation will prevent the fear of being judged! It’s also quite possible that others are not actually thinking about YOU as much as YOU think about, and judge, yourself. Once you realize that, developing some helpful practices removes judgement and opens the way to joy!
Practices for stopping the spiral of judgment:
Mantra – Repeat this to yourself: “Love more. Care less (what people think).”
Morning ritual – Remind yourself every morning, “I have work to do.” This is God’s work, and you might be judged for it.
Mirror work – Look in the mirror and remind yourself that your body is getting you through life, holding up despite the schedule. Don’t see your body as an enemy. Look at yourself as you would look at a friend. Love your body and be grateful for it.
Let God speak – Remind yourself how God describes you: “chosen, priesthood, brothers and sisters, beloved, loved.”
In their “shoes” – Imagine yourself as the person that you might be prone to judge. Place yourself in their body. This wakes you up to the fact that we are all connected and that we all have good days and bad days. It gives us more compassion.
Elevator compassion – When you’re in an elevator, ask: “What is the person next to me experiencing and how are my assumptions likely wrong?”
Intercessory prayer (Buddhist and Christian practice) – “May all who feel judged by others find peace. May all who judge themselves harshly find grace. May all who judge others find compassion. May we all love those who need to love.” Fill in the blanks with your own words: May all who _____________, find ______________.
- Proverbs 4:23 – “Keep your heart with all vigilance,for from it flow the springs of life.”
- Proverbs 14:7 – “Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not find words of knowledge.”
- Jesus only uses judgmental language with those who are hurting other people (see Matthew 23:1-36).
- The story of David – God chooses David, even though he is the youngest and the least impressive of his brothers, because God sees the interior (the heart), not the exterior (see 1 Samuel 16:6-13).
- The prostitute who anointed Jesus’ feet with oil (see Luke 7:36-50) and the woman being accused of adultery (see John 8:1-11) must have known that Jesus had no judgment of them because they risked their lives to get in front of him.
- Brené Brown – “Perfectionism is a shield for shame.”
- Link to video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7yYFHyvweE
- Hillary McBride – “When we learn to love ourselves, we are five times more likely to love other people and to show greater compassion to other people.”
- Link to Hillary McBride’s website: http://hillarylmcbride.com