We all desire to be liked and accepted by others. If we are not careful, in fact, what others think about us often becomes an obsession that controls the way we live. God, however, wants us to shine brightly as our full selves and to not worry so much about pleasing others. Doing so will make the world a brighter place and will give you great peace.
- Surrender the illusion of control – Recognize that you can’t control what other people think about you.
- Ego check – Recognize that our egos want to put us at the center of our world and everyone else’s world. This makes us believe that people are thinking about us and focusing on all that we do when really, they are more focused on themselves.
- Love yourself – Learn to love yourself more so that you don’t need other people to love you as much and so that you are less dependent on their opinion of you.
- Boldly be yourself – Continue in the journey of finding out the person that God created you to be. Then, be that person fully. Shine your light. Don’t shrink yourself in order to please everyone, and be ok with rocking the boat.
- Listen to God’s voice – Rest in what God says about you, that you are good and beloved. Find peace in reminding yourself that God likes you and that this is all that matters.
- Change your question – Stop asking, “Are they pleased with me?” and start asking, “Is God pleased with me?”
- Love others and imagine – See others as good and love them deeply, imagining that they also love you.
- Stand – Take a moment each day to stand with both feet on the ground, connected to the Earth and with the person God created you to be. Resolve to be the best “you” that there ever could be.
- Matthew 22:39 – And a second is like it: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
- John 4:19 – We love because he first loved us.
- 1 Peter 4:8 – Above all, maintain constant love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins.
- Genesis 1:27, 31 – 27 – So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them… God saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.
- Elizabeth Lesser – Broken Open (book) — “When there is nothing left to lose, we find the true self—the self that is whole, the self that is enough, the self that no longer looks to others for definition, or completion, or anything but companionship on the journey.” And, “I believe that we are all bozos on the bus, contrary to the self-assured image we work so hard to present to each other on a daily basis. We are all half-baked experiments-mistake-prone beings, born without an instruction book into a complex world. The old saying: “You would have less fear if you really knew how little others are thinking of you.”
- Brené Brown’s – The Gifts of Imperfection (book) – “If the goal is authenticity and they don’t like me, I’m okay. If the goal is being liked and they don’t like me, I’m in trouble.”And, “Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.”
- Peter C. Wilcox – The Hidden Faces of Courage (book) – “Some of the most important qualities for women are thin, nice, and modest. That means if women want to play it totally safe, they have to be willing to stay as small, quiet, and attractive as possible.”
- Marianne Williamson – A Return to Love (book) – “And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”
- E. Cummings – “To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else – means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”